Getting up close and personal

Things have changed significantly in our lives since the summer. After their plans to live elsewhere went BOOM (big family drama) Bill’s daughter and her family moved in with us. And now we’ve got a full house.

 Bill’s daughter (the one I didn’t raise) moved away as a young woman with her new husband to Cyprus. After a twenty five year absence from our lives they came back with kids in tow and there was a lot of catching up to do.It’s been great having boys (2) in the house again, and their children are very sweet and respectful. Although I’m not their biological grandmother I’ve been married to their grandfather for close to thirty-five years so they call me grandma out of respect (which I love). I am getting to know their personalities, their likes and dislikes and I’m even picking up a word or two of Greek!! My step daughter is a lovely young woman, only eight years my junior and we really get on well, like friends. She works hard long hours to support the family and is a loving wife and mother. Her husband is my food twin!! He loves all the exact food, beer and wine I like just like I like it; funny right? He’s very respectful of all of us and can’t do enough to help around the house, run out to the store or even repair something here or at my mother’s house.  He calls my son’s Billy and Matthew little brother which I think is very sweet.

And what we thought would be a few months stay has been extended to longer but we’re seeing the light at the end of this tunnel. For those of you, who think it’s easy “coming to America” as “a legal immigrant”, think again. My step daughters husband did everything except jump thru hoops to comply with all the rules, forms and fees  and finally this week  he’s received notice he’ll be getting his green card with permanent resident status within a week or two. Although he’s been here before and had two green cards previously that didn't make one iota of a difference. My thoughts turn to 911 and the heightened scrutiny our government takes on each and every application and I can’t help but think this is the reason and the cause for the months and months of wait time. Personally this makes me both annoyed and grateful at the same time.

 I’m just going to end this post with a big hello to anyone who’s even reading this blog anymore!!

 Thanks :0 

And some advice; for anyone reading that might have a relative who wants to come here to the USA and become a permanent resident. Do your paperwork in your home country before coming to America!  If not you best have a lot of money saved or a family member who can work (since you can’t work legally), at least two places to live. Don’t expect one of them to be my house…we’re out of rooms!! 

defend this family; do it for the children

Fred, Mark and their children

In my less than one year of blogging I have met some wonderful and interesting people. I must admit there are a few that I consider my favorites, people who touch me with their humor, their life stories, their compassion and their ability to love unconditionally. My friend Mark Himes is one of those people. Mark and his partner Fred have four wonderful children and I'm afraid their family is in danger of being broken apart. You can read all the details of this story on Marks blog Our Simple Lives and to a lesser extent in the letter I sent to The Secretary of Homeland Security on their behalf which I have posted below.

Dear Madam Secretary,

I am writing to you today to ask for your help. My name is Jennifer Forbes.  I'm American, I am a wife, I am a mother of two and step mother of three, and grandmother of four.

I am also the granddaughter of three immigrants who came to this country married and raised their families. They had a dream, a vision of a place where they could be free, free to work, free to worship, and free to associate. And they chose America because this is the land where differences are respected and diversity is celebrated.

In my own family my step-daughter who is white is married to a person of color, prior to the 1967 Supreme Court decision they would have been arrested here in The Commonwealth of Virginia for their union. My beautiful grandsons would have been considered little more than outcasts, but for those who dared to speak up when they saw injustice being done. 

And it is just such an injustice that has prompted me to write this letter to you today. I would like to appeal to you on behalf of my friend Mark Himes and his French born husband Fred Deloizy of Harrisburg Pennsylvania whose green card has recently expired and is in danger of being deported. Fred has resided in this country with legal status for the entirety of his 20+ year relationship and marriage to Mark; his love for his family is clear and there is no doubt that he is a loving spouse and parent.  Fred’s ties and relationship to this country are undisputed; the couple has four beautiful adopted children together; Jonathan, Claire, Jacob and Joshua like all children need their parents to be together. He loves this country and has shown a willingness to work and the fact that he will contribute to our society is beyond doubt because he has already.

It is my opinion that the Defense of Marriage Act is a failure as marriages do not need defining or defending, but families do.  Mark and Fred’s family does. We as a society cannot seriously protect a marriage that fails the children. Our children are the future of this country, they need both parent home and engaged in their lives. Married straight couples can sponsor their spouses but same sex marriages remain un-recognized because of this act. You MUST consider making an exception for this couple– for this family- for these CHILDREN. Do not uproot these children from the only life they’ve ever known, because that may happen. Don’t make Fred leave, please stop these types of deportations!

Fred & Mark

We as a country evolve, attitudes change and we need to change with them; and so must the policies and laws of this government so that they reflect the will of its people. And if there are times Madam Secretary when we find we are bound by laws that are unfair or unjust then we must apply them with common sense and mercy.

I urge you to keep this family together; please reissue a new green card for Fred Deloisy, his children deserve to have both their parents.

Friends, That concludes my letter to the secretary. I just wanted to add that I respect that your opinions may differ from mine about gay marriage or even on issues of immigration. But I ask you to please join me and write your own letter. Help save this family; if for nothing else do it for the children.          

                                                    With Thanks, Jen

Joshua, Johnathan Claire and Jacob
I hope I got the twins right!

Secretary Janet Napolitano

Department of Homeland Security

U.S. Department of Homeland Security

Washington, D.C. 20528

202-282-8000