Something wasn't quite right about them

New neighbors moved in next door to us two years ago during the summer. They're a couple a bit younger than me each have kids that are adults from previous marriages so it's just them in the house. Just them and lots of cats and a snippy little dog who I can attest is an ankle biter. When they moved in we went over with some fresh ground coffee and some new coffee mugs to welcome them to the neighborhood. After that however our contact was limited.

We'd bring them fresh tomatoes one month and maybe the next they'd drop by to say hello or to check to see if their cats were getting along with our cats. Other then the usual mailbox hello's and waving pulling out of the driveway that was the extent of our interactions.This Christmastime we were surprised when they asked to borrow money, not something we felt comfortable doing so we told them no. Then a few months back there were a few occasions when she'd knock very early in the morning ask for a ride to work saying their car was broke down when it was brand new, strange, but Bill gladly obliged.  

We had decided long before that there was just something off about them. Did you ever just get a feeling? Nothing tangible just a nagging feeling that something wasn't quite right.

This past holiday weekend my house was full with family, eating, the kids were playing and the adults were enjoying a cold beverage. The weather didn't cooperate so we were indoors, music playing, voices raised in family banter. 

And the neighbor knocked. And now I finally know what the "it" was that I always sensed.  She was coming here because he had hit her and pushed her around. My husband confronted him and he denied it, not surprised! I'm not sure if she wanted the police involved but clearly she was afraid enough to flee to my house.Without missing a beat Bill called 911. Believe me when I tell you Bill didn't ask her if she wanted him to call he just did. 

He'd been on enough domestic calls when he was a cop to know they were needed. Sad thing was we couldn't physically keep her here and she took a walk down the block to clear her head. Shortly thereafter the deputy arrived but we didn't go over or interject ourselves in that part of the situation. I'll be curious to see the arrest list in the paper next week to see if he's in there. 

I know this relationship is one of many many years. That fact doesn't mean I'm not gonna try to say something or do something. I also know a place she can go where he can't get to her where there's people trained to help her. My friends daughter Mary works in a local battered woman shelter, it's safe and there's counseling available. I'm going to bring all the information and give it to her at work. She needs to know there's help available for her. I'm sure she's feeling pretty alone and isolated right now.

I'm also not naive and I realize she's gotta want help.  Lets all pray she does. 

 Sad thing, isn't it?

This is just frightening

You'd need to be living under a rock about now if you haven't heard the story on the little boy age 6 who was subjected to being slapped in the face, head and chest by 24 of his classmates multiple times while in school.

This episode was orchestrated ( i can hardly believe it) by his kindergarten teacher who decided it would be an instructive lesson to show this 6yr. old alleged bully what it fell like to be bullied. So she lined all his friends and classmates up and instructed them to hit him to teach him this lesson. Those kids who didn't want to participate were forced to participate against their will. 

credit

Warped teacher lessons


Lesson- 1  I will teach you to deal with a bully by engaging in a violent act against your will. 
( this child is alleged to be a bully)


Lesson- 2 I am a trained professional a "teacher" certified by the state to educate children better then parents. Oh that's right, I was fired....sorry! 


Ugh! As a parent of 5 and a grandparent 5 I cannot tell you how disturbing it is to me to hear how this child and indeed the other 24 children in this class were treated by a trusted adult.  She has failed miserably as a role model, to teach the children appropriately and to keep them safe.


I think we all know and if we don't we need to be reminded how impressionable and vulnerable our children are at the age of 6. The very thought that this person had even a passing impact on any child is frightening. 


Now if all of this wasn't frightening enough, take a look at a small sample of the comments below,  I read them while checking out this story and decided to share snip-its of  what could only be described as rabid dogs on a fresh piece of meat. 

• Bullies, begins in the home, where's the line to slap the parents?.......

• The kids must not have hit him too hard if he didn't have a single mark after being slapped 24 times....

• The mother destroyed the teacher's career but she still has her little demon to raise. If a few years, she can visit him in prison. Who will she blame then?............. 

•  I'd bet Aiden is one very spoiled rotten, cruel little jerk ... the teacher should not be banned from teaching over this ... if you don't believe there are just evil little 6 year olds, just sit in on a few kindergarten and first grade classes and you'll be able to spot 'em without much difficulty ... pity that teachers can't simply kick these really disruptive and bully-type kids outta public schools for extended periods. Far better to expel a few awful students who, through their behavior, are thieves stealing any chance for learning ... and they are stealing that chance from their classmates ... Far better to "boot out" a few bad kids than a teacher.

• I think they should let 24 teachers line up and slap the mother of this little punk. Sounds like mama's little man should be allowed to do anything he wants. The teacher who came up with this idea has set up a really good teaching environment. Life is tough little guy and every thing you do has a payback, for better or worse. 

Regarding teachers actions, I would be very concerned if she entered the classroom again, furthermore it wouldn't surprise me in the least if she didn't  face some type of criminal charges for her actions on top of her dismissal from her teaching position. 

It seems the majority of the adults (anonymous comments) seem to think the teacher deserves a pass. I have some strong opinions about anonymous comments and the people who write crap hiding behind a mask but I'll leave that for another day and another post.  I can't seem to wrap my head around this premise that the fault lies with the mother and child and not with the teacher. Schools have bullying policies, teachers should be equipped to set boundaries in the classroom, monitor behavior and discipline appropriately.  So what do you think?

Am I the only one who thinks these comments are horrible? And this situation, you thoughts?

he gave me a dirty look, the bastard!

I've come to believe two things, one I should just stay out of parking lots because nothing good happens there and two, I despise men who are abusers. A few years ago I had an altercation with a women who left her babies in her car and went shopping, I literally sat in my car and watched them so they wouldn't get kidnapped or hurt, but that's another post.

Today, Bill and I were out running errands today. We both went into Sams Club, I ran into Walgreen's so when we got to Food Lion he decided to go in alone, we just needed two items so I was just sitting in the car checking my blog on my smart phone. And then they pulled up.......

photo attribution

A white SUV pulled up two spaces to the right of me, the space between was un-occupied so I had a clear view of all the goings on in the car. So I'm relaxing reading blogs sitting back in my seat and I hear this man yell a profanity. I look up to see who I assume to be the wife hurl her body out of the drivers seat soon to be followed by items he's throwing at her. They were cups and other items he had handy in the cup holder. She then opens the rear end of the SUV and he turns his head still yelling, angrily.

In all honesty I can't make out what he's saying but I have a clear view of her. Body language is such a telling indicator of how a person feels. Her head was down, her shoulders were slumped and her hair was hanging over her face to hide her tears, poor thing. She gathered her eco-friendly bags and headed into the grocery store. He however was sitting high on the hog in the passenger seat all seething in his rage, real honest to goodness rage.

At that point I sat up and he caught his first glimpse of me, his mouth clamped shut. I started to feel a bit of relief for her that he'd calmed down; maybe the fact that he didn't want an audience to his misdeeds was enough to end this incident. And that's when I saw him - a small child - a boy about five stand up and lean into say something to his father from the back seat.

I'm not even going to go into what kind of man does this type of thing to his wife, that I will never understand. I have to tell you I was feeling so angry for her and at the same time so much sympathy too. And the kid, really who does this in front of their own child? What kind of man are you mister? Oh I know....Creep!

Then creep locked eyes with me. I have to tell you I don't scare easily, I had to bite my lip not to roll down my window and say something, but for the child I would have been tempted. He did try to intimidate me when the boy sat down, the bastard made a face at me then he made an aggressive move towards me trying to scare me. It didn't work, I lifted my phone as if to take his picture. He sat looking straight then, but not quite as straight as when Bill returned from the store, he apparently only likes to pick on women, bastard wuss!

if you want to get drunk- get a sitter or get a mug shot - look and see

The beauty below in the mug shot is my former daughter in law, she it seems decided to go out and get plastered and left our granddaughter 10 years old and her little sister 2 years old (that would be the child she had by another man while still married to my step son) home alone until 1:45 am bar hopping with friends.

The police found the kids alone then later found her unconscious in a neighbors apartment, douche-bag! She was charged with two counts of contributing of the delinquency of a minor. I would not be lying to say I dislike this women, she is nothing but trouble always has been, now her stock just crashed not that it could have possibly have gotten any lower.

this is a mug shot of my former daughter in law
she's a beauty isn't she?

My granddaughter called her father to say she was frightened (if you read this blog regularly you know i never mention him- there is a reason) he's a moocher who doesn't work and lives off the kindness of others and he wouldn't know the truth if it bit him in the ass. Pretty much makes it impossible to have a relationship with him since he doesn't have respect for boundaries;  he doesn't understand the concept and thus has none. He's no youngster nor is she they are both over 30.

So where was he you ask when she called him? On vacation in California. For what you might wonder since he doesn't work? I for one would love to know. He has two living siblings they work, they get vacations, that makes sense to me. He doesn't nor does this behavior.

So lets guess what he did and if the welfare of the kids is important to him?

Option one-  he answered the phone when the child called and came right home like any normal parent would do to protect and comfort his child and her little sister.

Option two- stayed in California and delegated his parenting responsibilities, put his beach pictures on Facebook not cutting his vacation short at all.

Bingo and the winner is Option two you won  the..."you can smell a crappy parent 2600 miles away" prize.  Bravo!

He did however lift one more finger and call his ex-mother in law to take care of them. Didn't call us, no chance in hell of that, because if he would have we would have blasted him for not coming home, being responsible putting the children's needs first.

Privacy laws are making it hard for us to get information other than the kids are fine and the police let the mother in law take the kids that night. But we found out she apparently was told by my step son to turn them over to some friends of his. Who knows if the authorities know of that arrangement. We do feel better however now that the police and CPS have a case; FINALLY and hopefully once this thing gets into court maybe a judge will make them answer for their behavior. God knows we've tried and failed more times than I care to admit.

These two have been a nightmare for our whole family since the day they've met; and he to a lesser degree before that.

And the children every time I think of them and the lives they've had at the hands of these two my heart just breaks. Because when it comes down to it their lives are the real nightmare and we're just the spectators.

Some people just shouldn't be allowed to have kids, ya know!

snips and snails and puppy dog tails....NOT! UPDATE 6/3

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails

That's what little boys are made of !"

This story I'm afraid is not a Mother Goose nursery rhyme; far from it. It is really sickening in fact; the story was released in a locality not too far from my community.

A group of children  found this  kitten and were playing with it when a 12 year old boy walked up, picked it up, grabbed it and threw it against the wall. Then he proceeded if that wasn't cruel enough to beat the poor animal with a stick. He then pulled out a pocket knife with the intention of cutting the kitten but one of the brave little boys knocked the knife from his hand. At that point the children picked up the poor thing thinking it was dead and left the kitten in the grass.

Animal Control took the kitten because by some miracle he was still alive for medical treatment; he is currently recovering and will soon be available for adoption.

doesn't this just break your heart?

This kitten is suffering from a broken leg, bruises to his lungs and his abdomen. 

My husband told me, he's a retired police officer that many of the most violent criminals start out by torturing helpless animals; it makes one think doesn't it? The boy has been arrested and charged with a cruelty to animals charge; ya think!

This just sickens me, and it make me wonder how is it that a child a little boy could be capable of such evil such horrible violence? How is a child like this becomes who he is or is he born this way- bad? Because I look at that little kitten and I just can't fathom any of it, can you?

 UPDATE June 3- It just came on the 10 pm news this poor kitten died, how sad is that?

adult bullying with a side of breakfast

Yesterday my husband and I went out to breakfast after Mass. There were several  staff in waitress positions and one grill cook. The restaurant had a decent flow of diners, but it was by no means busy.

I am an observer of people, and am always so sad to see public displays of shameful behavior.  I've alway been sensitive to things like abuse even when it's subtle-passive, abusers have a manner. Maybe I have that law enforcement sense that all my family has without the actual job, who knows? The cook in the diner was for lack of a better word was an adult bully.

Did you ever visit a diner where the waitress is required to holler out her order to the cook who is cooking right there in plain view, written orders are not exchanged? This was that type of place, you know two eggs on a raft or whatever they say, it's rather funny to hear the sayings, its kind of like a show!

Now imagine being a waitress and the cook refused to fully acknowledge  you as you stood there trying to communicate your customers order and every time you opened your mouth she just raised her open hand and dismissed you. The good ole "talk to the hand".  I believe I'd much prefer my co worker the cook  say to me "please give me a sec, or I'll be ready in a minute, I'm ready now, please or thank you. Never once did I observe her saying a word nor did she raise her head or make eye contact.   I was but a scarce few feet from her and I couldn't help but wonder how she stays employed.

It was rather pitiful to see her manipulate a group of grown women into circling her;  to see the humiliation in their faces as she dismissed them by raising that hand and like Pavlov's dogs they would automatically go silent.

Waitress' are some hard working women as we found out as we chatted with ours  plus she was friendly and proud. I gently asked her if things were always this way and directed my gaze to the cook, she affirmed my question with sadness saying she chose not to make waves. You see she told me she has a husband and three children and has to work.  She doesn't have the luxury of staying home, and for that reason she feels she has to take this abuse, how sad is that?