April 18, 2011

adult bullying with a side of breakfast

Yesterday my husband and I went out to breakfast after Mass. There were several  staff in waitress positions and one grill cook. The restaurant had a decent flow of diners, but it was by no means busy.

I am an observer of people, and am always so sad to see public displays of shameful behavior.  I've alway been sensitive to things like abuse even when it's subtle-passive, abusers have a manner. Maybe I have that law enforcement sense that all my family has without the actual job, who knows? The cook in the diner was for lack of a better word was an adult bully.

Did you ever visit a diner where the waitress is required to holler out her order to the cook who is cooking right there in plain view, written orders are not exchanged? This was that type of place, you know two eggs on a raft or whatever they say, it's rather funny to hear the sayings, its kind of like a show!

Now imagine being a waitress and the cook refused to fully acknowledge  you as you stood there trying to communicate your customers order and every time you opened your mouth she just raised her open hand and dismissed you. The good ole "talk to the hand".  I believe I'd much prefer my co worker the cook  say to me "please give me a sec, or I'll be ready in a minute, I'm ready now, please or thank you. Never once did I observe her saying a word nor did she raise her head or make eye contact.   I was but a scarce few feet from her and I couldn't help but wonder how she stays employed.

It was rather pitiful to see her manipulate a group of grown women into circling her;  to see the humiliation in their faces as she dismissed them by raising that hand and like Pavlov's dogs they would automatically go silent.

Waitress' are some hard working women as we found out as we chatted with ours  plus she was friendly and proud. I gently asked her if things were always this way and directed my gaze to the cook, she affirmed my question with sadness saying she chose not to make waves. You see she told me she has a husband and three children and has to work.  She doesn't have the luxury of staying home, and for that reason she feels she has to take this abuse, how sad is that?

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