November 28, 2012

drunk wrangling 101

Have you come face to face with a sloppy drunk lately? I actually have some level of experience with drunks because of my Dad. Ok Ok he liked to drink I admit it but that's not what I was talking about.What I meant was he owned a bar and I became very good at drunk handling during those days.

As you all know I was up in New York attending my cousins wedding. Believe me there was no lack of alcohol consumed by the guests. We; the elder cousins had a large table next to the parents of the groom right, the bride and groom and next to us was the younger cousins. Oh did I mention we were right next to the bar?

Last year one of the younger set married in a small ceremony which just immediate family attending so this was the first time I met his wife. We chatted briefly at cocktail hour and then again during the reception. I remember thinking to myself she seemed like the kind of gal that who'd is just a perfect fit for our family. Many of the other family know her better than me since I don't do Facebook and we laughed about that but I'd say we hit it off fine.

The reception went on food courses were served and the dancing and music were fabulous. Most every person if physically able were out on the dance floor dancing to the band who played a perfect mix of music from several decades. Dancing up a storm my new cousin came up to me and remarked in some minor distress " this guy is bothering me."  I turned around and there was this thirty-something man pushing his upper body into hers. Ugh!

I stepped in between to shield her from him. I was shocked to hear that this had been going on over the course of the night " he's keeps grabbing my ass" she exclaimed! I wasn't clear if or why she didn't tell her husband but my guess she didn't want to make waves or spoil the party. Being new to our family can be somewhat intimidating and I can imagine being the subject of that type of attention or being the cause of a possible altercation just wasn't an option.

Really who could blame her I actually admired her for her spunk but this guy had to be stopped and I was going to do my best. I considered being a woman might give me an advantage so I said to him very pointedly.

" What do you think you doing?"

He met my very pointed question with a smirk as he crossed his arms over his chest and stared me back in the eye quite defiantly.

"Do you know this lady is my cousin and she's a married woman AND a mother?"

"She's a mootherrr?" He slurred with that slimy smirk still plastered on his face.

What a dumb jerk this guy was but drunks are drunks so we did the dance I continued. " You might not think this is so funny when you realize your playing grab-ass with the niece of the father of the groom who is also my cousin and your host tonight."

Now that smirk is starting to fade.

"Maybe I don't need to say this but you certainly need to hear it." "You my friend are no gentleman and your behavior is not only an insult to her but to all woman." " You've insulted this woman as well as our family it seems to me it's a behavior for which you have a particular talent."

I don't know whether I shamed him or if he just go sick of being cornered by me because he tried to offer me his hand maybe as an apology I really don't know why. In any case I really didn't want to have any physical contact with him so I declined.

As he turned and exited the dance I had a bit of parting advice " Why don't you go and find a willing single lady?" He didn't acknowledge hearing them as he took a seat at the edge of the dance floor. She and I danced for a minute and then not wanting to bother my cousin (the father of the groom ) I had a small chat with his best friend about the situation.

As you would imagine we didn't see drunk guy for the rest of the evening.


  1. Good for you, Jen! You go girl!

  2. Oh wow, I think you handled this well Jen. I'm not sure I would have handled it with as much finesse as you did. There is nothing worse than an obnoxious drunk in my so not humble opinion.


  3. I'm with Betty.... that guy and his disrespectful behavior would have been out the door -- but maybe that's one of the benis of being older (and wiser and bolder?)

  4. Way to go Jen! I wouldn't have expected any less from you! Bet he went with his tail beteen his legs.

  5. That is awful Jen. I'm so glad that you stepped in. What a jerk face.

    1. I have a family full of men in that very room who would have gladly kicked his ass. So he really got off easy with my whole mom like talk he got from me, really he was a jerk!

  6. And that's why you don't mess with anyone named Jen! :)

  7. I am standing up right now applauding you!


    1. Thanks but what he really needed was a good ole ass kickin!


I'm always interested in what you have to say...
Comments are appreciated!