August 21, 2012

Grandma is on the job...

Holy Toledo!

I'm not a novice when it comes to raising kids. Hey,  I raised five and gave birth to two right? I must be suffering from memory loss..... {that's code for being over fifty my friends} My 3yr old granddaughter Ava has been here since Saturday and she's wiping the floor with me.

She's here for a two week visit. I'm not sure how I ever had the energy to do this with five!! I think going to make some calls and find some play dates. Grandmas to old to be the #1 playmate for a three year old all the live long day.

We play school with me being the student and she being the teacher.  Recess is my favorite part even to this day except in our recess we dance to music on my i-pod, we go to the park, we read the same six books over and over and over again, we color, we wear jewelry beads and play make believe princess and we eat peanut and jelly like it's going out of style.

I have news.....

Apparently one of us needs to be in bed by eight thirty!

I bet you'll never guess which one :)

So if  during the coarse of the next two weeks I'm horrible with responding to your lovely comments and my posts are infrequent of include babbling or the ABC's, just bear with me...

I'm occupied my little princess.

August 15, 2012

Sweet Virginia

More from our family vacation. 
Sit back and tap your toes
and enjoy. 

btw,  the video part 
is a bit unsteady that is due to inexperience with
the camera and NOT to beer!!

August 13, 2012

And then I lost it....

I'm doing a Monday Mournings Guest-Interview over on the death writer blog today with my friend Pamela. I do hope you'll go over and check it out by clicking here.

During the interview process Pamela and I traded a few e-mails and I shared a story with her. I told her I was considering putting it on my blog and we agreed that we'd try to coordinate my story with her blog subject/guest for Wednesday. She's having a guest who is a veterinarian who is also a thanatologist. (They study death and dying, especially in the psychological and social aspects.) Don't forget to check that out as well here on Wed  8/15.

What does my story have to do with that? Go ahead and read it and you'll see.

This is a true story about what happened some short weeks after the accident that took the life of my daughter Gretchen and son Eric. It portrays a picture of my emotional state resulting in some behavior I'm was not to proud of.


I looked at my cat Egypt laying on the floor. He was obviously in pain. I told myself all the usual things he had a good life, after all he was 19. But I knew today was going to be his last day and that made me terribly sad.

I breathed deeply thinking to myself "my life is a nightmare." It had only been a few short weeks since the kids deaths. I hadn't slept for more than a few hours at a stretch and I was exhausted down to my very bones. I was so afraid and I didn't even know what I was afraid but it was my new constant companion. And now I had to leave the house. The thought of doing that was so frightening to me that I started to seriously consider that I needed help. Damn you death, I thought! It seemed that death was rearing its ugly head again. Ugh! Why me? I seemed to be asking myself that question a lot lately.

So I put him in his cat carrier, he cried obviously in pain and I cried along with him.

We arrived at the vets office just the two of us and they took us right away. They're very good that way with long standing patients. I was shocked when the older male country doctor didn't walk through the door but instead a young thirty something veterinarian who was about six months pregnant entered. I told her that I would like to have him put to sleep and take his body home to bury in our pet cemetery. She examined him and agreed it was his time.

Then trying to help she started to address with me how hard it would be for me to loose a pet. At this point I stopped her and told her, thanked her and told her I was an experience pet owner and had done this before and there was no need, but she continued. Again I said there really was no need to address my needs that if she could just.... and she just kept on about how difficult it could be.

And I lost it.

All I can say is it was like a slow motion movie playing out some horrible scene and these hateful words were coming out of someone else's mouth but it was actually my mouth and I was saying them.

I remember saying. "How many times do I have to tell you I don't need you to explain to me about how this is going to be a painful experience?"

Then I went on to say. " I just buried my two kids a few weeks ago so you don't have to tell me a thing about what I'm gonna go thru."  

And if that wasn't enough. "Now take that needle stick it in the G-damn cat and kill him and do it now!"

And I can say with certainty that's pretty much word for word what I said. Why do I remember? I can't say but I do. I can hardly remember putting him in his carrier after the shot or paying the bill but I know I did. But I do remember laying him out in the living room at home so our other pets would know he was gone before we buried him.

To be perfectly honest I never apologized to the lady vet. and I suspect she avoided treating my cats for years afterward. And really who could blame her? My behavior was awful, shameful.

Then, five years later our cat Daisy was attacked by a pack of dogs. They hurt her terribly and we knew she would have to be put to sleep. When we went to the vets she came in to treat my dying 12 yr old cat. Her internal injuries were so severe she agreed the was no hope. After five years she looked me square in the eye and touched my hand and said and it was very brief " are you ready" and I said " yes thank you."

 Maybe a little peace and understanding was reached there or at least I'd like to think so.

But I didn't offer an apology and it still bothers me.
So what do you think dear readers?
Is it ever to late to offer an apology?
Any other thoughts or comments?

August 5, 2012

Views from the Cape...

Oh my goodness! 

We had the best time on our vacation in Cape Charles. And I have to tell you the weather was sunny and breezy every single day. We take a family vacation most every summer and we've been very lucky every single year with the weather!

1920's bungalow.
This is the house we rented. I don't think my Mom left this porch much the whole time we were there. She sat there doing her word puzzles and enjoyed the breeze. You can see her head just slightly poking over the left rail by the window and my godson Gerard at the door.

view looking up the block
The people of Cape Charles very friendly. Many of residents would walk past the house saying hello while either taking their daily walks or walking their dogs. Like most beach towns many people walk or ride bikes but in this town you can also rent golf carts to get back a forth to the beach with all your stuff. We actually just piled in Gerard and Denise's van with all our chairs, umbrella's, coolers, floats, towels and other junk.
this way to the beach
This shot is the view looking down from the front of our house the two blocks to the beach (zoomed). This gazebo is the beach entrance. We chose to hang out on a beach a couple of blocks over where we could spread out a bit more. 

The beach tended to be narrow in some places although the sand is wonderfully white and soft. The water is also quite shallow and you could walk FOREVER to just reach waist high water.  The water was pretty warm too; I would guess due to the unseasonably warm weather. It"s quite possible it could be warm every summer. I really can't say since this was my first visit.

sushi anyone?
This gull just swooped down and scooped up this fish and snacked on it right in front of where we were sitting. 

live crabs

If you are at all familiar with the Chesapeake it has a reputation as a source for wonderful fresh seafood, specifically blue claw crabs. Bill went out one day and purchased this bushel of crabs (approx 6-7 dozen) straight off the fishing boat. They are lively little suckers trying to run away and dashing all over the front deck of the house trying to latch on to toes.

My brother Gerard, bless his heart worked his rear off cooking them in a variety of ways. One night; crabs with pasta in a fresh marinara sauce and the next day for lunch tossed cold in a lemon-herb and olive oil vinaigrette YUM!  ( pictures in another post)

Sorry but! Doesn't this cloud kinda look like the shape of Virginia? 
Well it did to me... but then again it might have been the beer :)

I sat on my chair on the beach under the umbrella and took a lot of pictures.  Most every picture that I'm publishing today are ones I took of strangers and scenery of the beach. There might be an exception or two. In a later post I'll get to showing you some pictures of the family.

I really thought this shot was kinda nice and I love how the sun glistens off the water towards the end of the day. This is just a couple of strangers on the beach walking the forever walk. Like I said the water is very shallow in the Chesapeake but it's good for the legs. I can't say we didn't get exercise.

That is my niece Sydney walking out with her sisters float to cool off. Some of the days although breezy were quite sunny and hot. Umbrella's were necessary as was plenty of sunscreen!

Boats would come in towards the shore frequently and people would walk out to them visiting with their friends.  Every once and a while all the people gathered round would have to push the boat so that it could get to deeper water so it could put its motor down leave the shallow areas.

This is what its all about isn't it? Just relaxing in the water with your gal pals...This group of ladies were at the beach every day with a larger family group and usually sat next to us under some big tents with their husbands and kids.

I probably took 150 or more pictures while on vacation. Don't worry I won't show you all of them, I promise just a few favorites.  The town of Cape Charles is a nice lazy beach town with quaint shops, churches, seafood restaurants, pubs and all streets lead to this beach. No stress here!