how things change

I love this picture of my sons Eric and Matthew with their friend Bill. It was taken years ago...I'm guessing 18 maybe 20 on a week long skiing trip that we had taken the kids on. 

One evening we took the boys out for an Italian dinner. We settled down and ordered our meals I can't remember what everyone else ordered but I got the squid and Bill ( pictured below in the middle) had never seen anyone eat (calamari) before. Clearly Bill our guest was pretty grossed out by my choice of meal; his facial expressions said it all.

At the end of our vacation week when we dropped him off at his house his mother greeted him at the door and asked him how his week was he said " Momma you are NOT gonna believe what Jennifer ate!"  

It was really pretty cute.

Eric, Bill and Matthew

Now lets jump ahead to present day. 

Bill is an adult who works in a city that my husband and I visit frequently for get-away weekends. It is not uncommon for us to try to meet with him for at least a drink and if his schedule allows dinner. Last time we had dinner he chose a lovely little place which happened to be Italian. The three of us, Bill, my husband named bill too and myself ordered a bottle of wine and then decided to order appetizers. My husband ordered soup, I ordered salad and Bill ordered fried calamari (squid). 

I just grinned :) Then I told him what he did when he was a little boy. He didn't recall but enjoyed hearing what he had said over some tender squid and a nice crisp white wine!

I'm happy to join my friend Martha over at Seaside Simplicity again this week for Flashback Friday. You're welcome to link up and share a great photo from your photo albums or bins and a good story if you have one. It's great fun, really it is!

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things that need fixin round here

This has certainly been an interesting month. Broken water heater, broken clothes dryer, transmission in need of repair...mouth that needs fixin!

You know how the other day I wrote those posts about people saying inappropriate things in public?

I be the first one to say we have to be mindful of what we say when we're in public since we're just never sure who is listening.

You'd think I'd follow my own advice!

Even in a more private setting.

Have you ever put your foot in it?

Would you like to hear what moi did the other night?!

Fresh after the "ink dried on my posts so to speak" oh my!

The repair man was here to repair our dryer. While he was doing what repair men do we were chatting about our kids and sports.

Baseball is a way of life in our part of the south for most boys from age 9-18. The repair guy has a son who plays ball- our son Eric God rest his soul was a terrific ball player when he was coming up thru our community/local school system. So naturally our conversation turned to things like what positions his son prefers, parent rolls, team politics, costs, the pro's and con's of playing on a travel team and coaches.

At one point during the conversation when we were discussing coaches I mentioned that one of Eric's former coaches really didn't do anything for me since he was lacked personality.  It was not my intention to attack "the man" it was "the coaches abilities" I had questions about. Coaches need to know how to communicate and to inspire, coaches need to know their sport, they need to be disciplined. This man lacked these qualities which made him ineffective as a coach. 

At this point I should have remembered what the former owners of this house told me years ago...." most everyone in the south is related so be careful what you say."

Wanna guess what happened next right?

The repairman said. "That coach is my wife's cousin!"

Help! I have a foot in my mouth.....

Then to my relief with a lopsided grin he added "He's not my idea of a coach either!"

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stick a fork in me!

I am done!

They finally got to me. You'd think they would have gotten to me sooner but I've been lucky.

Actually, I consider myself luckier than most that I haven't had to do this sooner.

Read this Mr/Mrs Anonymous aka Mr/Mrs. Spammer.

Forget this blog!

I apologize to those few people who upon occasion use the anonymous function to comment (like my cousins- love you!)

And to my readers that I have to make you put up with the inconvenience of comment moderation. (sorry- love you too!)

I have for the sake of my sanity blocked all anonymous comments as of this post.

I can no longer stand the huge volumes of crap comments I'm getting on a daily basis.

Darn spam.

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85 years young!

I'd like to share with you my very favorite pictures of my Mom. I'm sharing this with you in honor of her 85th birthday which is in a few days.

She was born and raised in the very exciting and fashionable NYC and if I might say did a good job of fitting in with the style of the times if this picture is any indication!

Linking up with Martha at Seaside Simplicity and her friends for Flashback Friday. 

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pipe down- eating lunch in public part 2

Unlike yesterdays post what happened at this lunch was quite a bit more personal.

Bill and I were given the keys to a friends place in the Outer Banks. Since the drive is several hours we decided to stop at a little Italian place for lunch. Just before our lunch was served a group of Police Officers entered and sat at the next table.  For a time after the accident the sight of uniforms or even the sight of a police car was the cause of great anxiety for me.

If their presence in the restaurant  wasn't painful enough they started talking about an accident that they had all responded to where there had been a fatality.  In a voice that carried one officer recounted every last detail of that horrible accident. It was torture.

Other than his voice the only other sound I could hear was the blood  whooshing through my veins and my heart pounding. Did I mention the tears? There were always tears back then. I remember thinking to myself what were the chances, cops and us meeting- them talking about the one thing that would be so profoundly upsetting to us? Sigh.....

I went to the bathroom an splashed water on my face to try to compose myself.

When I returned from the bathroom silence greeted me and the officers seemed contented to eat their lunch mostly silently and we did too to my great relief.

As we walked out to the car I said to Bill.

"You said something to them."

He grabbed my hand squeezed and said.

"All I told them was how soon it's been since the kids." "They were sorry honey; really they were."

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pipe down- eating lunch in public part 1

The other day Mom and I went out to lunch which is something we do frequently after shopping or doctors appointments. Often while we eat I engage in a bit of one of my favorite past times, people watching. Observing how people dress, talk, what they eat, how they interact and communicate are all fascinating to me.

But sometimes it's just impossible not to see and hear something blog-worthy especially on this day. 

Two table away was a group of eight people who I came to understand later were counselors. One woman in the group was venting rather loudly about her patients many of whom were minor children concerning matters of a personal nature. She spoke of a couples who were her patients disclosing personal information and voicing her opinions.

With every bite of my lunch I wanted to yell at her and tell her to shut her trap.

Yucking it up about peoples personal affairs in public is a horrible betrayal of these peoples privacy. I felt so horrible that they put their trust in a person who blatantly didn't deserve it. She treated their personal trials in life as if it were an episode of  The Jerry Springer Show.

And I thought to myself if they only knew!

I was temped to speak up or at the very least tell her to tone it down but the opportunity never arose.

Tomorrow- Part 2

Read how a group of diners brought me to tears. Did Bill say something to them or did we leave the restaurant? Come back and find out!

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Oh how contrary she can be!

I found these crocus sprouting in my yard today! 

A beautiful gift from mother nature.

One would conclude that spring has sprung, right?

Then I came into the house and the news said  they're calling for snow tomorrow, sigh....

I wish mother nature would make up her mind!!

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a glimpse at love 1917 style

With Valentines Day soon upon us I couldn't miss the opportunity to share with you a few treasures of my grandparents courtship during WWI.  

I've been studying the genealogy of my family in recent months and have found many many interesting things about my family.

I dragged my cousin Heather into my little family roots search albeit willingly when she was visiting over the New Year holiday with her family. She later found these postcards  in her mother’s attic while putting away the Christmas decorations.

Heather's grandmother Frances (my godmother) is the eldest daughter of my grandparents Mary and Henri.

If you are at all interested in WWI then you might enjoy seeing these postcards just for their nostalgic or historic value.  Or you might enjoy them simply for their beauty. For me they are my history, a small glimpse of my grandparents courtship in my grandfather’s own hand preserved for almost one hundred years.

This first postcard is considered a "sweetheart postcard."

I have to say, the picture is just outstanding and the colors are amazing!

The romantic in me loves that their courtship survived despite the fact that there was a war going on. The message in the postcard isn't all that romantic. I have to guess that was more the due to the more formal social norms of the early 1900's rather than their affection for each other.Fortunately they did marry two years later and had six children five of them survived and went on to have their own families. 

I am the second born child of their eldest son Henry.

This next post card is the actual announcement that my grandfather's sent to my grandmother letting her know he had arrived back in the US back in 1919.

At the base of the Statue of Liberty it says:

STATUE OF LIBERTY, NEW YORK CITY
Statue of Liberty on Bedloc’s Island in New York Bay, 1 ¼ miles from Battery, a colossal figure of Liberty enlightening the World. It lights the harbor with an electric torch held 306 feet above the water, the highest beacon in the world. Was presented to America by the French nation.

My grandparents rarely told stories about their native countries and they spoke of their families infrequently.They came to this country him from Canada and her from Ireland to become Americans and were grateful for that opportunity. I never did understand why they felt all the rest had to be left behind!! I've often wondered whether it was something deeper or maybe it was just too painful.

Regardless of whether my recollections are indeed accurate or a result of the limits of a child’s understanding or an adult’s imagination. What I've been uncovering in my search including these postcards is an interesting experience rather like peeking at little bits of myself.

Have you ever looked into your family history? What's your experience?

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don't miss this my friends

If you have not seen the badge on the right column of my blog that I added yesterday then take a look.

That badge means I've signed up for the Blogging from A-Z April Challenge. 

If you are not familiar with this challenge you write a post a day except Sunday starting with the letter A for the month of April then you work your way through the alphabet.

You can pick your topics and you go from there. Do anything you want, really you can even pick a theme, get as creative as you want, do photography; whatever! They've made it more convenient this year and you can list you blog under a category if you'd like.

I participated last year and I had a blast. It is a wonderful way to get your writing juices flowing and a fabulous way to meet new friends. I have quite a few followers and friends from last years challenge that still are involved with my blog to this day!

click

I'd love it if some of you would join me in doing this challenge this year.

It's a lot of fun, I promise.

Click on this button and go sign up yourself.

You won't regret it!

Regards, Jen

when life and death really gets complicated

It's been a long week and I'm happy to say that I am finally home.

Death of a loved one even when that person is an older person can be particularly hard; especially with the complex issues and circumstances of my dear friend and his family.

He was terribly sick man who literally sacrificed his personal health and ultimately his life to care for his ailing wife in their home with his own two hands. He adored her and she him for over sixty years, what a lovely relationship they had.The thought of being parted was just to much for either of them. She has the beginning signs of dementia and is now being cared for very well at a small assisted living facility and is doing OK sigh...

Sad isn't it? Well it gets sadder. Their middle son to whom they are estranged could not be located, not even to tell him his dad had passed or that his mother is in a home. I couldn't begin to explain to you why things like this happen and it wouldn't be my place to. All I can say it the relationship was very troubled and he shouldn't have had to die with that unresolved  weighing heavy on his spirit. He and his wife have two other grown children a daughter and son both with profound disabilities.

After a week of, driving, meetings, organizing paperwork, lawyers, lots of wine and many tears we think we have a plan that will care for our dear friend his wife and see to the continued care of their two adult kids.

My friends who I went on the trip with Melissa and Flora along with myself are sharing the responsibility for the family members. Mel is caring for the health, finances of the widow, she has a great responsibility which includes a trust for the wife and kids.

My best friend Flora will be the guardian of the adult son who is roughly sixty and resides in a private home for handicapped adults.

And  similarly I have to privilege of assuming (with the courts permission) the guardianship of their daughter who is approaching her fiftieth birthday and also resides in a private home as well.

We've known each other for over thirty years so we anticipate everything should proceed smoothly however prayers that everyone's health be sustained and that all the court related issues will go smoothly would be so very much appreciated.

My next post will be about the weeks trip, it was a doozy!

I'm breathing I'm breathing.....

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