December 21, 2011

PYHO -a blended families christmas dinner recipe - patience, love with a dash of chaos -

We have yet to decide what we're going to eat for dinner and it's yet to be decided whose going to be here for dinner on Christmas Day for that matter.

We actually don't have a traditional dinner that we eat every year and whose going to be here from year to year fluctuates. We usually just eat what ever we want when we want, things are pretty free and easy around here lately. As long as I can use my Christmas china I'm happy.

Sometimes the menu might be decided by how many people I'm cooking for. With a lot of people we might have turkey or ham, maybe even both. My grandchildren like that meal so if they're here and my daughter and son in law aren't working then that would usually be the menu. We've even had Italian one year, oh my goodness it was a feast! We stuffed our face with several different types of pasta, talk about carb heaven.

My daughter , her husband and my grandsons a Christmas past,
it was the Italian Christmas.
If my husband's ex comes to town and visits our daughter then that usually changes everything. Confusing right? She gave birth to her I raised her so we share that's why if you knew us you'd find us both calling her our daughter. Anyhoo... then we - Bill, Matthew, Mom and I might be munching on prime rib or lobster. Forget the pasta and pass me a bib and a shovel for this meal! My Mom loves lobster, so this is really a favorite meal for her. She won't even touch the beef, not a single bite.

Matthew (red)and his older brother Bill (grey) doing the Christmas dishes, oh yeah!
This year I don't think the ex is coming but I believe with their crazy schedules,(she works days ,he nights so  one parent's home with the kids) they've decided to stay home; maybe. This is one thing I've learned about blended families; everything is always fluid and emotions are usually pretty high around the holidays for the kids, even when they're adults. 

Things between the ex and us are fine and we're great friends. But the kids and her, well it's hard on all of them, her too, but circumstances were what they were. So that left many thing unsaid and undone. And as good a relationship as mine was with them growing up, its just not the same. Our other son Bill and our granddaughter is now living with his mother and trying to get his life in order. His adult life has been one poor choice after another. To be perfectly honest my relationship with him is rather strained because of it. Family relationships can be rather complicated; all our efforts long ago exhausted we'll have to see how things work out with this new situation.

But regardless of the ex and the kids and whose living where or working when we still have to decide what to eat. Seriously, despite all the Christmas bah humbug that seems to rear it's ugly head like, "you didn't raise me" every holiday and causes everyone to be freaks emotional, we really are an OK family who loves each other. 

In the mean time we're living on patience love with a dash of chaos! 

So what's cooking at your house, something yummy I trust? Do tell!


  1. This year, my daughter's father and his business partner will be staying with us. Also, an old friend of mine from med school and his life partner. The life partner is named Thuan and he is Vietnamese, owns a Vietnamese grocery in Chicago. So...he does most of the cooking while they are here, including Christmas dinner. The business associate is Nirand. He is from India and he cooks too. So...a complete hodge podge. We spend brunch on Christmas at my sister's house, but that is the only American food we eat during the Christmas season.

    Your family is a lot like most, I suspect. There are some dings on those cars....but we still get around, yes?

  2. I have a few step-siblings, and understand the blended family dynamic. It can be a big production around the holidays. It helps that the exes get along or the extra drama could be too much.

    I hope you and yours have wonderful Christmas.

    (visiting via PYHO)

  3. I wish I was eating at your house, it sounds like you and your loved ones will be enjoying some feast!

    Enjoy your Christmas Maria, God Bless.

  4. I believe we may have had a large production or two many years ago!
    Now it's more like a series of small drama's played out on the phone due to pre Christmas tensions.
    Funny though Christmas is always really great regardless.
    I hope you have a Merry Christmas too Tara, thanks for visiting.

  5. This is year three of our Slovak Christmas! While I won't be making homemade piergoies this year, I will be making filled cabbage on Christmas eve morning. We're laid back too, though. No formal dinner, just help your self, it's on the stove!
    I will admit, lobster on Christmas china sounds divine!
    Merry Christmas Jen!

  6. The lobster is REALLY for Mom, she's getting on in age and she loves it, so we want to make her happy.

    Stuffed cabbage would work for me too! Mom had Polish cousins so she makes them sometimes for us, gosh are they good!

    Wishing you and yours a Merry Jackie.

  7. Sounds like you are able to balance it all pretty well!

  8. Jesus! That's way to much for me to take in at one sitting. Maybe I should read this again and try to figure it out. No wonder I'm anti-straight marriage! ha!
    Hope you figure out what you're having for dinner.

  9. OMG- if anyone from my family follows me here and reads this comment - I am SO BUSTED. but - here's the truth. I don't get along with my one sibling. (I only have one. haha). My mother and father won't get over it and continually try to force us together and (as a parent... I get it.) So our holidays have so SUCKED lately. I dread every time we "have" to get together. It is straining our relationship with everyone. I DREAD christmas purely because my parents are divorced and we get to have 2 different small gift gathering exchanges over this time. YAY. there... that's what I really can't talk about on my blog. You just got it. btw... love ya! Kristen

  10. Mark,
    I know,I know. Believe me it's just mild craziness, Bill me and the ex usually just shake our heads. Kids even when they grow up can still act like kids. I try to be the voice of reason, but some times us strait people gotta vent!

  11. Oh Kristen,
    I am so sorry!I didn't realize that that was the way it was for you, but then how could i until you just told me!

    My therapist used to tell me there's no rule that says just because your related that you HAVE to get along.

    Crap, now if family is reading this I'm in big trouble too.

    I guess for all of us its our hope that we'd all get along with all of our loved ones but it isn't always the case.

    Sad but true.

  12. I love the way you can make your blended family work!

    We're going to my aunt's house for Christmas dinner- she makes a huge pot of beef barley soup and everyone else brings whatever they want. It doesn't matter. Then eat, drink, and be merry!

  13. Food is good no matter what you make, what truly matters is being around your loved ones =)

  14. My husband's family is coming over Christmas Eve and his mom, who has since passed, used to always do cornish hens. I started doing them a year or two ago and now it's become a tradition for us. I love bringing back something their mom did for them and they are SO easy. Hope you have a wonderful holiday.

  15. Wow Jen,
    You right I am confused! Regardless of what you guys decide I am sure it will be lovely!

  16. Dwija,
    Sounds like a nice family Christmas, enjoy and God Bless.

    I couldn't agree more! Have a great holiday with yours.

    The Cornish hens sounds like a great idea.
    Sometimes the sentiment behind what we cook is
    as important as how what we cook tastes!
    Wishing you and yours many blessings!

    Happy Hanukkah, I hope your holy season is filled with joy and happiness.


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