It's a change we're never prepared for, one that is so difficult to adjust. It can invade your dreams but helps us process grief while sleeping. When my kids died I had difficulty with change; who wouldn't right?
I decided to use this prompt to share one of my what I call "change dreams."
My panic rises when I realize I'm alone. The street is dark and the weather snowy.
There is somewhere I need to be but I don't know where; my hearts beating loudly.
I feel a heaviness; a weight on me, Is is a backpack or is it a burden, I don't know for sure?
My body moves forward, the need is overwhelming; as I push against the wind the snow pelts against my face stinging my skin until it is numb.
Every step takes every bit of energy I have in my body.
Tears mixed with snow covers my face; I brush them away then dip my head into the wind and push on with purpose.
My muscles screamed out with each motion my body heavy, exhausted but I HAVE to move forward.
I'm blinded in this storm, where am I going?
Dreams can be so telling....when they're not confusing! But, I cannot imagine loosing my children. That certainly is a drastic change that is impossible to prepare for.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine the grief process over losing your children; I can't even pretend to imagine it, because it is too scary to even think about.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this. I think it makes sense that your dreams would be filled with weight and a confusion about purpose after a loss like two of your children.