January 26, 2012

you did what?

Mama’s Losin’ It
For Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writer's Workshop this week I chose this prompt: You know the stories that are retold a million times at family gatherings? I call them Life Stories that you just never live down. List your Top 10 Life Stories. 

Family stories are most funny to the family that they belong to because we know the people, the personalities. I come for a large family with lots of kids many many cousins.We're all in our thirties, forties, fifties even sixties now and I have to say we never get tired of these stories.  There are so many good stories that are swirling around in my head that could be told about all of us. Here are some of my favorites!



  • Once at a holiday dinner, I believe it was Thanksgiving, someone threw a piece of turkey  across the table and it landed in my cousin Genevieve’s soda , she sipped it not knowing it was there, then threw up on the table. ( my brother Paul swears it was stuffing not turkey, he had a front row seat, he was sitting next to her) We still don't know who threw the offending object!

  • I took a walk with my cousins, Gen, Patricia, my brother Paul and cousin Mickey on the boardwalk once, I didn't want to be with the girls I wanted to be with the boys. They however had different idea, they left me by jumped off the boardwalk. I was eight years old and lost, I walked to this little beauty parlor which sat off the end of the boardwalk and sat there crying and crying until they came back later. They got in trouble! (I didn't know my address we were living at a summer house)

  • We had a party at our house once and my cousin Yvonne mistakenly used a Clorox wipe thinking it was a personal feminine wipe. Ouch!

  • Poor cousin Lorraine was locked in the car trunk in Brooklyn by her sister Yvonne and my brother Paul, my grandfather found her.

  • My brother Gerard (aka, Gerry berry) stuck a berry in his ear, from the Christmas decorations.

  • My personal favorite when at a family party my cousins threw my little shit balls from my diaper out the upstairs window at Uncle Charlie’s head since he didn’t have hair!

  • While visiting my friends Flora’s Uncle Joe in Brooklyn he was commenting at the dinner table how beautiful my daughter Heather was, as the words left his mouth, she threw up on the table.

  • My son Billy put a clothes pin on our cat Tinkerbelle’s tail once, needless to say they didn’t like each other very much. Once when staying with my parents Billy was sleeping on the couch, and Tinkerbelle  who traveled with us decided to get her payback, she climbed on Billy when he was sleeping and peed on his back.

  • My cousin cut my hair after one lesson in hair cutting school; it was a disaster. Mom took me to the beauty parlor after to repair the damage, can anyone say pixie?

  • I was walking down the street with my son Matthew and I was VERY pregnant with Eric, a utility worker was working in a freshly dug hole on some sewer pipes. As we turned the corner I said to my toddler son” look Matthew a big hole.” The man looked up at me and said” not big enough for you lady!”




18 comments:

  1. I got a good laugh from your stories!

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  2. Too funny. And super impressive that you remember all this, because when I try to think of them I know there's a million and I come up blank! :-)

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    1. I've head them a bazillion times, we have a large family with really big mouths :0

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  3. HOw funny! As I read these, it is amazing how many stories involve vomit!

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  4. What does your family serve that induces all that throwing up? LOL

    Your brothers were such brats to leave you on the boardwalk. I'm glad they got in trouble!

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  5. Hilarious! I love stories like these!

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  6. Your family would get along just fine with mine!

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  7. Oh the Clorox wipe killed me!! Hahah!

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    1. What was even funnier was when my other cousin Colleen got on the 1-800 number for Clorox and reported it...very serious. Told her how to bathe the area...i had a twenty or more relatives drinking bloody Mary's in hysterics!

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  8. So funny. Loved the clorox wipe...poor thing! Too bad you didn't have something to drop on the utility worker.

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  9. I could have just jumped on him and that probably would have did the trick, or at least shut him up LOL! He was pretty funny, I have to say he said it with a smile on his face..

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  10. Oh my, some great stories! I love the Thanksgiving Day one, and the poop out the window...
    Your last one, can't believe he said that!

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    1. Goes to prove no matter how old we are we still get a kick out of poop and other bodily fluid stories!

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  11. No that man didn't! And what's up with throwing up at the table. LOL!. Enjoyed this post.

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  12. That Clorox wipe kills me! And I love that your daughter puked on cue. Ha!

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    1. The clorox thing was pretty funny for the rest of us anyway!
      And my daughter,like a clock!

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  13. Oh my gosh! I loved the cat's revenge!!! My son and my cat don't get along at all either. Unfortunately, he takes his revenge out on my daughter's dress up clothes. :/ We go through a TON of vinegar in the wash!!!

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    1. Cats are something aren't they? He never went near her again I can promise you that.

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