-post card- FEELING THE PULL

I walked out of my church on the day of my kids funeral in 2006 and didn't go back until last month, couldn't get in the door. Life's journey brought me back to the place I considered my second home. And the wonderful thing about God is He waits patiently by your side when you forget to remember Him. My church family welcomed me back with open arms too; it was good to be back.

God spoke to me many times over those years, it never made it past my neck however so that I never heard what He was saying in my heart. The past few weeks  when I go to church- the announcements or in the church bulletin say they're looking for volunteers;  it seems that they're looking for several of the things I used to do before the accident in 2006. His message to me or just a coincidence- this I do not know-yet!

There have over the course of my absence been many changes there, a new pastor, new parishioners but most prominent- the closing of our Convent after 120 years. Our sisters are some of the kindest, gentlest hearted women I have ever met. The are Daughters of Charity of St Vincent De Paul , many of which are teachers who filled various functions in our parish school and social workers who oversaw the parish outreach. I spent many hours in that parish outreach with the poor and needy of the community listening and I hope helping. Getting so much more then I ever gave from people who had little reason for hope but always seemed to have an abundance of it.

The question now is if I go back to helping with the less fortunate in our community-how will my experience with the death of my children affect my interaction with my clients? Will I be more compassionate, more empathetic?

My fear is-  that their circumstances and distress might overwhelm me and it will be to much.

But I'm feeling the pull.